Ok, to expand on my previous post ("I give up...for now"), the situation has taken an interesting turn.

First a bit of background: the guy I met got a divorce which was finalized over a year ago, and wanted to get back into dating. I met him, and though I thought he was great (good conversation, mutual attraction, he shows interest), in the back of my mind, I remained pessimistic. And it's a good thing I did.

Today, after contacting me this morning and talking (while he's at work mind you...he just wanted to see how I was), I was feeling pretty good about the guy. However, this afternoon he calls and asks the question that is so vague, and so dreaded: "What do you want?" As in "what are you hoping to get out of this...thing we have". Naturally, I tried to flip the question around on him- didn't work. So I had to answer: I'm not looking to get married tomorrow or even rush things, but I definitely need monogamy. His answer-"I want to take things slowly, I'm having a hard time trusting women after the divorce".

Now here's where it got tricky- after we got off the phone, just to clarify things, I text him and asked if he was just trying to play the field, and if that's the case, I totally understand how he can be afraid of commitment. No reply to that message, but he is at work, after all.

We'll see where that conversation goes once he gets off work, but I gotta say that my pessimism has helped to provide a defense mechanism, sort of a shock absorber- I was totally anticipating a speed bump in this whole...thing we have going on (I have no clue what the hell is really going on, otherwise I probably wouldn't be blogging about it ).

Now, me being me, I've been playing Dr. Phil in my head, to see what caused him to call me with this "What do you want" stuff. I'm thinking that there are 2 likely possibilities:

1.) He's not that into me.

However, this explanation kinda doesn't make sense if you go by what he's been doing (keeping in contact throughout the day, just to see what I'm up to and how I'm doing). But who's to say I'm the only one he's been talking to?

2.) He is indeed into me, but afraid to enter into another relationship after a painful divorce (I guess 1 year isn't long enough to recover?), and is pulling back.

To me, this seems the most likely explanation, and I'm fine with being patient with him. But I just don't want any games. I refuse to be his option, just one of many being kept around until he gets ready to seriously date again. I think he really has potential, so I hope this...thing works out. I'm not one to be pushy, and always move at the guy's pace, so there's no pressure. And at the very least, we can always be platonic friends, I guess. So complicated.

After being single for over a year on purpose (just got out of a bad relationship, and decided it was best to be alone for awhile), I decided to get out and date again.  But I'm a full-time student and businessowner, and have little time to go out and play the dating game. So, I tried online dating. I made a profile on several of the popular dating sites- yahoo personals, eharmony, chemistry, match.com- all of which I've ended up deleting. I just did not see how I could find a serious relationship with the people that on are there- and a serious relationship is what I want.

I actually met one of these guys in person recently...I may never know what potential he has because things are not moving along at my pace. When things don't go my way, I get impatient, and then I lose interest. I'm thinking of just never answering any of his calls or texts again, and he'll get the message. That's all I can think to do, because how do you say to a guy that you've known less than a week "you seem nice, but I'm on a timeline and this is just moving too slowly for me.".

I have no idea what to do, and it pisses me off because I know good and well that man isn't thinking this hard about me. He's probably still on the site where I met him, talking to other girls and whatnot, while I'm sitting around agonizing about the possibility of never finding "the one" on a blog. I know, I should just be patient, and see what happens. But I don't want to waste time, and what if nothing happens? What if I give this guy time, only to turn around and him end up with someone else? Or what if he just decides I'm not his cup of tea after all, and stops talking to me all together?

I can already see where my problem lies- I'm impatient, and I'm not very trusting. I also think that the problem is me looking for someone at all. They say that once you stop looking for something, by fate you'll find what you wanted. And why is it that when you want to be single, guys flock to you? Is that what I need to do, pretend I don't give a damn about having a man, so that they'll sense it and try to change my mind? I really don't feel like palying games, so the latter is not even an option.

It seems apparent that I am not ready for serious dating right now, and either need to take a casual approach or just continue being single. Why do these things have to be so complicated?